It's American but still funny and true.

You Know You're Lebanese When...

1. You are always Right
2. You're 21, engaged, still living at home, and your curfew is still 11PM
3. You call everyone "Habibi"
4. At least one person in your family is named either Antoine or George
5. You find it necessary to speak at ear shattering decibels
6. No matter how old you are, your parents find it necessary to tell you "23ade mni7" in public
7. Wherever you go, you'll find a cousin
8. Whether it is Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Easter, you always have to have Kibee
9. You put allspice on everything
10. Your house is decorated in more icons than the church
11. You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands
12. Every trip to Lebanon consists of buying all 800 family members something in gold
13. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird
14. You have at least five cousins that you've never met
15. All of your values stem from the 1800's
16. You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there
is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS.
17. You bump Arabic music at all times!
18. If you wear a skirt above your knees it's too short
19. Your guy friends have odd names like Rabih, Jad, Akrum, Kareem, and Fadi
20. Those odd guy names translate to things like: Spring, Really, Thankful, Generous, and Christ
21. You have a satellite dish because it's the "best deal" for however many channels, yet you only watch LBC
22. You're obsessed with Star Academy
23. When someone calls you an Arab, you insist that you're not, you're LEBANESE--there's a difference
24. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
25. You have to speak French, English and a "little of Lebanese"
26. Whenever you meet someone who's Lebanese and not related to you, you have to know what village they're from
27. Your middle name is your father's first name.
28. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
29. You play cards till the break of dawn.
30. You never run out of bizzer & Foustouk.
31. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
32. Your cousins don't have names, they're just "bint khalee" or "ebin amtee"
33. Everyone in your family has a nickname
34. You find any excuse to have a barbeque
35. In the summer, at least one of your cousins gets married every week
36. You have to know how to debkeh in order to live in the family
37. Your American friends always ask you to say something stupid in Arabic
38. You make more money for your first communion than you do on your wedding
40. A ten dollar Christmas present is never enoughtherefore, Christmas is the time of year when you're always in debt
41. You're always late but you never have to make up an excuse
43. You have at least two things in your house that have the Lebanese flag on it
44. Your favorite tree is the Cedar, no matter what
45. You wear a gold crucifix from Lebanon around your neck at all-time
46. You have to wear blue when you're a baby so no one gives you the "evil eye"
47. You have to scratch your butt whenever someone gives you a compliment
48. Your dad, uncle, and all your guy cousins have to play poker everytime they get together, while the women sit and talk
49. Your mother calls you "Mommy" or "Ma" and your father calls you "Dad"
50. You have a Sitto always cooking for you
51. You know what happens when you eat too much Moujadra, Hummous, Tabuli, and Falafel.
53. You've considered having "EDBTZ" as a Screen Name or LicensePlate number
54. You blame the Syrians for everything!
55. And the Abeed too
58. You refer to older Lebanese as "Ammo" or "Auntie"
59. Your nose is considered a Lethal Weapon.
60. You get pissed when an Arab is displayed as a Terrorist in aMovie.
61. You also get pissed when the Yahood are the good guys
62. When people enter Mass during Communion
63. You go to Arabic Restaurants, tell the owners you're Arab, and think you're going to get free food.
64. You fight over who's going to pay the bill
65. Your family is over your house all the time
66. There is no such thing as quiet time
67. You know there is another meaning for kiss.
68. You would never call it Pita Bread
69. You use Arabic bread as a utensil
70. You think anybody who is not Lebanese is a Harram
71. The first word you learned was DOW
72. All the grocery stores and gas stations in your city are owned by relatives
73. At least 1 conversation a day is about being Lebanese
74. You feel proud when anyone famous has Lebanese/Arab blood in them (ex.Danny Thomas, Doug Flutie, Toni Shalhoub)
75. Going to church is a fashion show
76. And a free brunch
77. You have piles of coupons all over your table
78. You have at least one gold chain with a cedar, or a cross on it
79. Wearing a leather jacket during the summer is cool
80. You know what the debki, a hafli, and a derrbakki is/are
81. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
82. You have at least 1 picture/object resembling a camel in your house (even though there are no camels in Lebanon)
83. You've seen a belly dancer at least once in your life
84. You say "bolice" and "bosta" for "police" and "Bus."
85. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
86. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
87. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the stress.
88. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
89. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
90. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
91. You cook 7 days a week
92. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
93. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
94. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
95. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
96. You pity anyone who is not Lebanese and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.
97. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live on them.
98. You own and/or play a tubleh
99. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
100. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
101. You have 500,000,000 cousins.
102. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
103. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
104. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
105. You can't have a meal without bread.
106. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread,"
107. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
108. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.
109. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natooshah, or Tuntoonah."
110. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
111. Your parents make you listen to Feyrouz
112. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.
113. Your favorite food is warak 3arish, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you eat leaves for dinner.

كس امك يا اخ الكحبة

كيف بتعرف انك لبناني -- لم بتكون ميت من جوعك بلبنان ولما بتطلع عالخليج من اول شهر بتركب فياغرا ولكزس بس منين ومن اول شهر لانك بتكون عما تعرص وتنتاك لشي شيخ اوامير او بتكون مطلعلو اختك او مرتك وكل العرب بيعرفوا هدا الشي باستثناء القليل من الشرفاء طبعا ومعروفين .